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life learning

life learning

An Authentic Voice

March 24, 2014


Authenticity is a subject that has come up a lot in my household lately. There has been a shift in our schooling of the older boys toward larger amounts of writing and public speaking, and that process has brought questions on what makes someone’s voice not only unique, but authentic and real. I have been writing, to some extent, since I was a child. I have stacks and stacks of journals that were on my bedside table, newspapers I created in my basement, books I wrote and loved, and eventually articles and  blog posts that are out in the world. Every time I hit the publish button on something, I have a moment of fear if my voice, my perspective was truly my own. In this world of social media it feels so easy to write, say or do something simply because it will be viewed more often, or pinned more regularly, or shared all around the globe. There are numbers to look at, or page rankings to consider, or any number of factors that at times, frankly, feels so draining and odd. On the flip side of that, there is an amazing community of writers, parents, teachers and artists that are out there, everyday, sharing a piece of themselves in the hopes that their authentic voice will be heard and that their opinion will matter and make a difference.

It isn’t an easy task to teach children to find their authentic selves. We all remember what it was like to be a young kid, to want desperately to fit in, to have our friends like us, to walk into school or onto the field, or into the dance studio and feel accepted. It is easier that way, in reality. However, in the long run giving our children permission to be authentic does set them up to be able to take a stand later in life. We need strong youth, the world shows us that every single day. We need our children to grow up and not only know who they are and what they truly believe, but to be able to convey those feelings and opinions without hesitation. When I read an article, an essay, a book, or hear a talk from someone who is speaking with their authentic voice, I am compelled to act, to listen, to take in and truly asses what they are saying. Even in my relationships, the more authentic, the more they impact me. Our children need to find those books, or movies, or relationships and interactions. The younger the better.

As my own kids are embarking on this journey, or at least the first steps of it, I am reminded that it is my actions they look to emulate. That scares me more than I can say, because I am on my own path, and I make a lot of mistakes along the way. They remind me that they are watching what kinds of relationships I value, who I let into my life, and what comes out of my mouth. They want to see how I treat others, what kind of friend I am, and what I value as important. If this is not the most important time to be authentic, I have no idea when it will be.

The process of authenticity is an always evolving one. We are constantly becoming better versions of ourselves as we grow and age. I think that one of the biggest obstacles in authenticity that I have faced is not in accepting others, but truly accepting myself. I feel like I am getting to know myself deeply now, something that has come with time and patience. I don’t wake up and wish that I was someone else, no matter how beautiful or deeply inspiring their lives may look. That isn’t to say that I love every aspect of who I am, more that I am grateful for the things that I bring to the table, to the discussion, to the world. How can I teach my kids to value their own opinions if I can not value mine? How can I teach them to be soft and gentle with themselves, to see their talents and their benefit, if I can not acknowledge mine?

As these kids of mine grow (oh so fast), they remind me that parenting is so much more about our actions than our words. It is the value of modeling that they learn most from. They need to see that we take seriously creating relationships that are based on meaning, that we create value by being authentic and honest, and that we value that in others as well. They need to have open discussions with us that have ample space for asking questions, and sharing their own opinions. They need to hear that those opinions are of value, even if we do not agree with them, and most importantly they need to be encouraged to figure out what they believe and think. Our society asks our children to conform in so many ways, on so many subjects. Society is a collective group of people and conformity to some extent will always occur. However, as parents we want to cultivate the unique, the individual, the authentic that is our child. If we can do that, if we can even give that to them even in small doses, we just may succeed in this thing we all call parenting.




Pensive Winter-Snow2 Emma-Jeane-Love-you Winter-Snow Observation9 Observation8 Observation1 The River Observation5 Observation4 Observation3 Observation6 Observation2 Observation7

Emma Jeanne turned 8 months old yesterday. 8 months, where did the time go? We celebrated as we have every month, with more snuggles, and cuddles and smiles. She holds her own in this crazy life of ours. She isn’t one for riding quietly on mama’s back, or sitting and playing with a small toy. Oh no, she wants to be where the action is. I suppose that is a normal part of having three older brothers, and having them always by her side. I can tell she has a beautifully wild nature, and she is not going to let any of this life pass her by.

 The snow is still coming and going in these final days of winter. A beautiful snow shower here, followed by golden light and a warm breeze. I can’t complain, this winter has treated everyone in these parts beautifully. My older boys continually inform me that the snow in the high country is “epic mom, seriously epic!”, and they have gotten more days skiing than any other year since they began. I know that as much as they love their winter adventures, they are so excited to break free and get their legs moving. Reading books in the trees, that is where they want to be.

The other day we found our way down to the river, in search of mud. If there is even a small patch of mud anywhere near by, my kids will find it. On this particular visit, it wasn’t just mud that they were searching for, but river water as well. We have a new science lesson coming up that focuses on different organisms in the water, and our river is certainly full enough to be home to a lot of life. The field trip sparked some interesting conversation, as I asked the boys to please bring their field journals and sketch materials with them. This was, as so often happens, met with a strange look.

I ask my children to sketch, a lot. Some teachers make their kiddos write a certain sentence over and over, I make my kids draw the same insect, or flower, or tree over and over. Up until now we haven’t discussed why in detail. Both of my older boys are simply convinced that they will be scientists when they grow up, and there has always been the attitude of “why would I need to draw if I am going to outer space?”. Fair question.

While we were collecting river water, taking photos of the growth of certain plants, etc. I asked them what the similarity was between the artist and the scientist. For once, there weren’t a lot of answers. They gave me their best guesses, and thought that perhaps it was a trick question, but there was nothing concrete that they could think of. “They are both observers of their environment”, I replied.

If you think about it, there is so much similarity between the artist and the scientist. Both are fascinated with the world around them, and both seek to explain it’s complexity, beauty, and function. I have an engineer and physicist for a father, and I can promise you that he sees the world as an artist would. Having the ability to artistically render what is in front of you; the shapes, forms, lines, and color, those are imperative for a scientist to be able to do. Yes, understanding math and scientific principles is clearly necessary as well, but art should not be over looked. Our schools, our society increasingly tell us that art and music are not important, that they do not give our children anything of value in today’s science and math focused world. I beg to differ. Art gives everyone, but especially scientists, a medium to explain what they see, what they are trying to prove, and what is happening in the world that they are studying. When we look at the scientific journals of some of the world’s most renowned scientists, art is everywhere.

Art and science are two incredible fields of study, and sometimes letting them dance together brings about a whole new way to look at the world of education. Children need to know that life is not singular. They need to be good at many different things in order to be great at one thing. They need to understand the way that things work, move, function, appear, and live.  They need to take apart, and piece back together, get dirty, experiment, explore, and create. Through it all, they need to find a way to convey what they are observing, and art is as great as a medium as any.

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