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What We Were Waiting For

October 30, 2013









Bee Hive


It was a magical summer. Full of sunshine and warmth and smiles and quiet. Wait, no, not quiet. There is never any actual quiet in our household, but it was full of sunshine and smiles. Yes, those for sure.

These months away have been spent wrapped up in my family. When I was last here, I was facing a very intense situation with my pregnancy that left me on bed rest, with my cervix sewn up and all of my fears fully in tact. I spent the last 16 weeks of my pregnancy being told each week that my babe may make it’s appearance at any moment, and at the end of each of those weeks, my nerves were a bit shot. Every day seemed to be spent just in gratitude for making it that much further, and we all seemed to just hold our collective breath.

The spring drew into early summer, and time was beginning to bring back hope and excitement about meeting our child. We anxiously awaited the final piece of our family’s puzzle to join us, and as our fears began to subside just a bit, we began to dream of what this little one might be like. Would it be a sister or brother? Blond like Elwood or Landon, or dark and intense like Jacob? The bed rest had yielded an actual mound of hand knits, and I would lie awake and dream of him or her in each one.

It was, perhaps, the most intense time in my life. There were a lot of unknowns in this pregnancy, and I found myself leaning heavily on others to try and navigate my way through. I consider myself so so lucky to have friends and family who are really there for my family and I, and without them I know I would not have made it.

As the day of birth arrived, and I made my way down to the delivery room, the only thing I could think of was boy or girl. I wish I could describe that moment to all of you, but there are just no words. When my husband muttered “Is that a girl?” and my father whispered “you have a daughter”, my whole world changed.







Emma Jeanne Catherine Fontenot (named for both of my grandmothers) arrived earthside on July 12th at 8:06 am. Her lungs were in full swing, and she declared herself proudly to all who would listen. She is beautiful to us in every way possible, and we will all spend a lifetime loving and caring for her. Her father and I sit in wonder almost every night (as we did with the other three), and talk about just who she might become. We dress her in an overabundance of pink and roses,  we have a pile of sewing and knitting patterns in the girliest of motifs, and we can not wait until her first ballet recital. We know, of course, that there is a good chance that she will hate pink and flowers, never want to wear a dress, and most certainly will play soccer like her brothers, rather than plie in ballet shoes. No matter, as long as she is a happy little girl, we will be over the moon.

She looks so much like Landon, that as of yet, we have not had to change out his baby pictures from the mantle over the fireplace. It is a little uncanny, and I am curious if their similarity will hold. Her brothers are so smitten with her, and most days are spent breaking up arguments about who gets to hold her, or push her, or dress her. Elwood, in particular, spends a lot of quiet time with his sister. He has always been drawn to young ones, and he wakes up a bit early just to come down and read to both she and Landon.

As the intensity of all of these moments have settled, I see myself as a mother ten years ago, just starting my journey (yes, Jacob just turned 10 last week! How is that possible?). I see those two little boys who crafted with me and made mud pies, stood on the learning tower and helped me to cook, took needle to hand and embroidered by my side, and I am just so excited to do it all again. Landon and Emma Jeanne are the same two years apart in age, and embarking on this journey for a second time with the two of them is magical. Having two older brothers to show them the way as well,  that is just bonus.

I thought that perhaps the discussion in this space was over, but as these months have gone by, I realize that there is a lot left to be talked about, and I am no where near ready to leave this space behind. I am excited to return to the things in life I love best, and to share them with my sons and daughter. We have been cocooned so beautifully within ourselves these past few months, but we are all ready to join the world once more.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers this past year. As I said, we most certainly could not have made it with out each of you.