Fear, Change, and Motorcycles

February 10, 2015

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Oh these days of February, they have been so strange. Some days we see near 70 degree weather, while others 6″ of snow will quickly fall. It is an odd balance of rushing outside to soak up as much Vitamin D as possible, while alternatively hibernating inside. There has been so much going on through these days; abundant play, new projects, and a new found respect for breakfast preparation. I was never one to fear the mornings, until ours dramatically changed. After my husband’s health issues this summer, my oldest decided he wanted to head to school. I think that it was a combination of fear of me not being able to give him what we needed, as well as a simple desire to spread his wings away from home. There was so much going on in the moment, I never really stopped to think about the implications. That is strange, isn’t it? Homeschooling had been such a predominant part of our lives, and then in a blink I just turned around and it was gone. I quickly signed him up, just days before the year began, at a school I heard great things about. Then, while he was far at the bottom of the list, he managed to snag a spot on the second day of school. Elwood chose to stay at home, and of course the younger babes are still here with me as well. There is a missing piece that is so very strange to be without, but at the same time Jacob has jumped in with both feet, and is loving this new experience. He joined the choir, went out for the school play, took on a leadership role, and made some friends that I think will be with him for a long time to come. There are good sides, and ones that I would rather he not experience, but in reality that is the story of life. I promised myself when I first gave birth to him that I would parent each of my children based on their needs, not my own, not my preconceptions of what should be, but on them. So long as they were safe, in an environment that could foster positive change, and a place where they could be happy, the freedom of choice was theirs. There are moments when I want him to tell me that he wants to come back, and they are getting less and less. When I look at him, and I see that strong, confident, social smile, I know that he found the place that he needs to be.

His decision bears little weight on what the others will choose. Each of them is so different, and with each passing year I change as well. My ability to meet them where they are is becoming greater, and I hope that we can always find common ground on what works for them as individuals. I certainly enjoy watching each of us take on new challenges, be it singing with 25 other students, or diving into fair isle knitting. Speaking of which, how come no one told me how awesome fair isle is? I can not put it down, and I find myself staring late into the night at Pinterest board after Pinterest board on the subject. I have been knitting for many years, and fair isle always freaked me out. I have no idea why it took me so long to take the plunge, but look out, because there is a lot of fair isle knitting coming off these needles.

That is the joy of life, right? we get past our fears, and find that we love something that we thought we would never take interest in. It is a joy I uncover often, and something I hope that each of my kids can embrace.

Of course, Emma Jeanne seems poised to take an interest in riding on the back of boy’s motorcycles, as we witness each day as Landon takes her for a spin on his bee bike, and I can assure you that all the growth and change in the world will never get me over that fear.

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Crested Boot

February 3, 2015

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Someone turned 40 last week. I am not saying who, but it was my husband :).

We decided to celebrate by heading deep into the mountains to ski Crested Butte. It is a bit of a risk, since Joel still has to take large doses of blood thinners, but he promised to stay out of the trees and not fall. Not sure if he held up his promise on the falling, but he had a smile on his face for four full days, so that helped. Our boys have been skiing since they were still in diapers, and this time was so important to them. They have been very careful with their dad, not rough housing or jumping on him, not pushing him to do anything. I think that it was good for them to see that he is not going to break, and that he is the same person he has always been; a big, fun loving goof ball.

As has been the case since we started having children, I always find myself at the bottom of the slopes, nursing a babe, chasing a toddler, and secretly wishing that I was up there with them. It will happen again soon, as I will be the one to take Emma Jeanne up to learn, but for now I have to make do with lots of knitting, warm fires, and a continuous flow of Irish Coffee (whoever combined coffee and alcohol together very well may be my hero).

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Lately I have been having a ball designing knitting patterns and pieces for my sweet girl. While I will delve into that a bit later, I do have a fun and super easy boot cuff pattern that I created while we were traveling. I have recently been told that I need to update my wardrobe, so long sweaters and leggings have come into play in a big way. I must say that while I enjoy the look, it is a bit colder than my sweatpants and mommy shirts I had been loving on for years. These boot cuffs were a way to prevent much air from getting into my boots, and are surprisingly helpful in keeping the bottom half of my leg warm. I, oh so horribly, named them the Crested Boot Cuff pattern in honor of our stay, and I hope that you enjoy making them as much as I have.

Crested Boot Cuff Pattern

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