We Deserve This

I want to say a quick thank you to all of you for visiting the store yesterday, and raising $181 to send to Doctor’s Without Borders. I did not expect to sell out, but the family and I will be working over this weekend to stock the store for Monday!

My mother always said that you could never truly be friends with someone until you had broken bread with them.

Have you ever had the experience where you met someone, and inside of thirty seconds you knew you would be great friends? I love those moments, probably because they have only ever happened a handful of times, and they have always yielded someone who came into my life and changed it forever.

We deserve the time to make true connections; to talk, laugh, cry, dance, eat, drink and be ourselves.

Life is short. Too short to not sit around a table, with a bottle of wine, warm soup, rich bread and a lot of conversation. Too short to not set the table, open the door, and let our children play while we sit for hours talking in the sunshine.

Connection begins early, and we hope only strengthens as we go along.

Life is too short. too short to not take the time to nurture ourselves, to seek out relaxation, to walk silently through the woods, and to laugh out loud with someone who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Connection to ourselves, and connection to each other. That is what we all deserve

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and words with me this week. I know that I write posts like these because the subject is clearly on my mind, and I need to form into words where my feelings are, but I appreciate all that has been said and discussed over these past few days.

The pictures above are of Bernadette and her daughter Zoe.

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Just before I did my first yoga teacher training, I decided to participate in a vision quest. I had heard friends who had done them speak of the magic transformation that occurred being out on one’s own, with no one else in sight, and no one to speak to for three days.

At that time, I was not exactly what you would call a nature girl, but I took my wilderness awareness class, rented my gear, met my guide, and headed into the North Georgia mountains. There were seven of us, and our guide took each of us individually to a remote spot, where we would make camp and spend our time. The guide stayed nearby (and by nearby I mean within a 1/2 mile), just in case of an emergency, but beyond that, we were on our own.

I never saw anyone in those three days. I was alone, in my head, and in silence for 72 hours, and I thought that I could lose my mind. As hard as it was, I did come out of the experience a totally different person, both mentally and physically. I knew that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to, and I knew what I needed from my life (which is good, because lets face it, if you have to go to this extent to figure out who you are, you really should get something out of it).

While I don’t see myself ever repeating the experience, it did show me the value of true solitude. Whenever life gets a bit cloudy, or my direction is in question, I know that I need to lace up my boots, and just start walking. Some days it is around the block, others it is around a mountain, but it always does the trick.

Solitude is so often confused with alone time, and they really aren’t even close to the same thing. Alone time is when we get to wear our pajamas and watch TV with out the six year old barreling down the stairs. Alone time is taking a bath with out having our kids feet dangling in.

Solitude is you, your faith, and hopefully a good bag of trail mix.

Some people take silent retreats with their church or school, some spend days alone in a cabin in the woods, some visit an ashram or sacred temple, and some journey into remote places to wander uncommon ground.

While all of those seem really extreme, solitude is something that we always have with us. So long as we have a bit of time to leave our homes, or even lock our bedroom door, we have solitude. I truly believe that five minutes a day of genuine quiet can change everything. I also know that when I need to ask my husband for five hours of that same silence, I don’t hesitate. There is a lyric from Sarah McLachlan “The night is my companion, and solitude my guide”.

So, why did I decide to use solitude as something that we deserve? I think mainly because most of us do not give ourselves time to be with just ourselves. I love being a mother and a wife, a daughter and a friend, a writer and a…… But those are a lot of titles, and sometimes I just need to check-in and find my bliss.

I believe that I deserve to be able to journey with myself, by myself, and for myself, and that if I do, I will come back a better version of that self.

Our Etsy store will be opening at noon MST today, with 100% of the profits being donated to Doctors Without Borders. The store is going to be building up in the next few days, as we are trying to dye a ton, and learn more about how Etsy works. Thanks for your patience and support

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When I wrote the post on yoga for children, many of you emailed to ask if I would do the same for adults. In this week of honoring what we all deserve, this seemed like a perfect time.

One of the biggest benefits that yoga has had for me, has been finding a way to teach my self to use my breath and my body to find a sense of deep calm. I remember feeling like such a yoga girl when I could stand on my head, or hold a pose for 5 minutes, until my yoga teacher politely reminded me that there is no yoga if there is not control of one’s breath. That control has now seen me through almost every moment of my marriage and parenting, and it has the largest effect on keeping me grounded and centered (which is something that I struggle with every day).

I remember when a friend once told me “relaxation is not something that you can find by just simply coming to the mat, you have to really want it”. It took me a while to get what she meant, but I think that I have finally figured out that in order to relax, I have to want to slow down, and I have to want to let go. As a mama and a wife, that is not always easy to do.

I try and begin my practice with Sun Salutations, which get my blood flowing, and my energy in balance. You can learn more about Sun Salutations from this gorgeous video from Shiva Rae, or in this detailed description

Strange as it may seem, I always begin my restorative practice with a deep foot opener. Stretching our feet like this has two benefits; It creates a strong release in the entire foot, allowing for a deeper connection with the earth we stand on, and it also gives us the opportunity to breath through pain. This is not an easy pose, but it is an amazing one. Some of us will start with 10 seconds, others work their way up to 10 minutes. Whatever amount of time is needed, it will bring a great sensation.

Come to a kneeling position, and lift the legs so that you are standing on your knees. Tuck your toes under, and using your hands, spread each toe out. Come back to a sitting position on your heels, and try and relax your feet completely. This pose requires long, deep breaths that are taken in through the nose, and out through the mouth. Once you feel you have reached your limit (don’t push past your ability to breath steadily), stand back-up on your heels, and release.

I love hip openers, and they are by far the poses I gravitate towards most. Child’s pose is wonderful to always use in times of deep relaxation, but a variation is also a great way to open the hips as well. For this pose, I use a bolster, blanket and towel (a sturdy sofa cushion and a few towels will do perfectly). Come into a kneeling position, and then open your knees out widely, allowing your tush to drop in between your feet. Pull the bolster/cushion towards your tummy, and then lay your stomach onto the bolster, while keeping your sacrum on the floor. Place a towel or blanket under your head for support, and allow yourself to rest here for 10-15 minutes. With every out breath, let your hip open and release.

Back bending is one of those postures that can be wonderful, but can also really harm us if we push too far. Supported back bends are so awesome for opening up the front of the body, and giving a good stretch to the back of the body. For this pose, roll up two large towels (or use a bolster), and place in the curve of your back. Lay back gently, and place one rolled towel underneath your neck. Allow your arms to float out beside you. Stay here only as long as it is confortable, normally for not much longer than 5 minutes. When coming out of this posture, draw your knees in, and roll to one side, gently coming off of your towel/bolster. Use your hands to lift you up, and give yourself a few seconds to sit quietly before moving on.

The perfect posture for some easy rest is to place a bolster under your calves and feet (just below the knees), and place a rice pack on top of your ankles. Lie back, place a rolled towel under your neck, and a rice pack on the eyes, and breathe deeply for as long as you like. A little bit of elevation, and a lot of deep breathing has an incredible effect in this posture. I find myself falling asleep in here all the time, and it is a great place to take a quick cat-nap.

I try and end my restorative practice by coming to a standing position and just letting my arms and head hang in a simple forward bend. Being like a rag doll, and letting the blood flow to the brain is very calming, and I finish with a clear head, and a relaxed body.

Some nights I am just not in the mood to do a long restorative series, and I need someting light, but still relaxing

Even just pouring a cup of tea, and spending five minutes with my legs up the wall can do a world of difference. I am not great with turning the brain off before bed, but creating a relaxing ritual helps me, just as much as it helps my little ones.

There are tons more restorative poses out there to enjoy, but hopefully these three will be a foundation to start with.
I hope that many moments of relaxation will fill your day today.

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