Circle of Stones

All photography by Ginny

After a lot of thought, I decided last week to try and put together a group of families who would be interested in sitting down and talking about the joys and challenges of choosing to homeschool or unschool their children.

I know that it might seem strange to do a series on homeschooling, when only a small number of people who stop by here homeschool their families, but the fact is that all of us educate our kids in some way. While today is about introductions, the rest of this series will focus on more specific topics, and I think that they can benefit anyone who homeschools full time, or is just simply looking for a way to supplement or enhance their child’s education. I also think that many of us, at one time or another, will question how our children are being educated. That may have nothing to do with homeschooling, but I think that it can help to know that we all have questions, or concerns, no matter how we choose to educate our little ones.

~I’ve wanted to homeschool (and unschool) for as long as I’ve thought about having children. I feel that traditional schools prepare us for more school, but not for living meaningful lives. Especially now with the testing frenzy, I feel that it’s very important to examine our schooling choices.

~ A chance to see how adults live – building community, doing real work, even doing simple tasks like making a bank deposit or cooking a meal- the things we all need to be able to do, but which are rarely taught in school(and definitely aren’t required learning)!

~ Learning how to be in the world from adults instead of from other children. Don’t get me wrong, I think interacting with children is very important, too, but who do we really want setting the examples of proper behavior, by the very fact of constant exposure? A class full of antsy kids? Or adults working and living together?

Jennifer

~ Really, we began homeschooling because we had a 3 year old who wasn’t potty trained, but now I’m ready to sign on for the long haul. We love the time together, and the freedom it allows us!

~ The one thing is the time we have together as a family. Beyond that, we really like being more in control of what they are exposed too, both in terms of tv (characters etc.), and in terms of the larger culture of consumerism, materialism, and waste. It is also important to us to have more control over what they eat.

~ I think the biggest benefit for our kids is growing up more grounded in faith and better adjusted to handle the things they will encounter in their lives.

All Photography by Ginny

Ginny

~For me there are many answers to this question. Each of my children is so unique, and their needs and learning styles are all so varied. These differences made homeschooling a natural choice for us. All that aside, for me, one of the deciding reasons that I finally decided to make a commitment to keep them home with us was simply a strong desire to raise children who aren’t afraid to go against the grain; members of a counterculture of sorts. I want to raise free thinkers; children with a strong sense of identity and a strong sense of home. And ultimately? I missed them when they went to school. The school day was too long and we missed too much as a family.

~ They gain so much time to pursue their own interests and learn skills that aren’t taught in a traditional classroom. My children know how to raise and care for chickens, how to catch a fish, how to cultivate strawberry plants and plant potatoes, how to make a bow and arrows from a sapling, and how to build a fire, in addition to knowing how to read, write, and crunch numbers. They spend most of their days breathing fresh air, and a limited amount of time at the table doing lessons. As they grow older, I know that the time spent studying will increase and their playtime will have to decrease, but they will still have the opportunity to focus their studies on subjects they love and one day we will send them out into the world with a wealth of knowledge.

~ Freedom! There is so much freedom in homeschooling. As our children’s teachers we have the opportunity to pick and choose those materials that best suit their learning needs. But, almost more importantly to us, we have the freedom to drop everything and go for a hike or a fossil hunt without having to answer to anyone.

Natalie

~ We homeschool for a number of reasons but what made us initially decide was when my oldest was 4, getting ready to turn 5, we began receiving “Kindergarten Round-up” papers in the mail. I had never thought about homeschooling before, nor had I even really heard about homeschooling for that matter, but when these papers started coming I just could not fathom sending my precious little one off to be with complete strangers for so many hours a day. It felt wrong to me. She was only 4 for heaven’s sake! My husband and I felt strongly that our children were our responsibility, including their education. We began a little research and found out that in our state kindergarten wasn’t mandatory so we didn’t send her. From there we took the plunge into homeschooling and haven’t looked back since!

~ That’s a tough one for me. I believe there is so much, so many things they gain by being home. One of the things that matters to me is that they gain self confidence and self esteem without all of the peer pressure and negative influences that are out there in schools. We as parents can provide a safe environment and a good foundation for our children to build upon as they learn, develop and mature at their own pace without having to “deal” with or handle things before they’re ready.

~ Our biggest benefit of educating at home for our children and us as a family is being a family. We have time to be a family. Our children are here when Dad goes to work. They’re here when Dad comes home. When Dad has days off our children are here to enjoy it too. If the garden needs to be worked on then we can work on it. If it’s a beautiful day that calls for playing outside then we can play outside. If we need to get some studies done then we can get some studies done. If we’re sick then we can rest and get well. If we want to go visit or help Grandpa then we can. It doesn’t matter what time it is. Our children are involved in real life happenings and decisions. Our family life doesn’t start in the afternoon when the children get home from school. Our family is 24/7 and that’s what is important to us. Being a family with all of the ups, downs and all arounds included. Plain and simple.

Emile

~ My mom was a homeschooling pioneer, and in a time and area where homeschooling was considered fanatical, she chose to homeschool my siblings and I. While I greatly respected her and her decision, it wasn’t until I taught in the public school system for a year that I fully comprehended and appreciated her reasons for homeschooling.

The best way I can explain my aversion to the classroom setting is using a gardening analogy. There are so many different plants and flowers, each beautiful and useful in their own way. You cannot force a seed to grow, you can only give it warmth, light, water, and a place to root. Each unique plant has different needs for sun, soil pH, temperature, and water. Not all plants will thrive in the same environment, and they definitely do not bloom and produce at the same time. A classroom is too much like throwing seeds with various requirements together in the same garden bed, and telling them what and when to produce. A few plants will thrive, and most will struggle.The nature of a classroom makes it so difficult for creativity, imagination, and true love of learning to be cultivated.

I decided home was the best place for my children to be nurtured, accepted, and loved, for who they are. Home provides a climate that is ever temperate so have plenty of time to blossom in their individual time tables.

P.S. I highly recommend the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I had already decided to homeschool when I read his books, but his views have provided me with a great support as his research and writing reinforce what I’ve always believed.

~ The biggest thing I want my children to gain is confidence. I want my children to grow up with a feeling of unconditional love and acceptance. I want them to be confident in their creativity. I want them, and their opinions, to be listened to and respected. I want them to be confident enough to challenge their beliefs. I want them to be uninhibited by banal conformities. I want them to have the confidence to be true to themselves.

~ I believe the biggest benefit for my children and me, is the sense of calm that prevails when we can establish our own daily rhythms. We’re able to do what we truly enjoy, and really be in the moment… most moments, everyday.

Roxy

~ Schooling at home has always been a deep desire of mine. My K-8 education was spent at a rural, two-room schoolhouse with one other child in my grade, and anywhere from twelve to twenty-five students in the entire school. Homeschooling was not an unusual practice, either. Many of my friends were homeschooled and I never thought of learning at home as anything different. Now I have children, and priorities shift. You begin to realize that they are little for such a short amount of time and that the window of opportunity flies by so quickly. And you crave the goodness that you knew as a child. We just really want to be involved in everything that is part of raising creative, independent and caring adults.

~ I want to know that every moment counts. From unstructured play, to creating, to academics, I want to know that every experience is building upon another. As an elementary teacher and professional development consultant, I’ve watched too much creativity being squelched, and too many children sitting through lessons that were not appropriate – on one end of the spectrum to the other. I want to to take into account my children’s talents and interests as well as basic needs.

~ I think that no matter where else my children may get an education, no one is as vested in their successes or interests like we are. And no one knows our children quite like we do. It just seems like it fits for us to help design the learning journey. Maybe that will play out in a variety of settings, but right now, it is starting at home. We believe that many children often are over-stimulated and pushed at the preschool age and for us, it makes sense for ‘preschool’ to be a part of our family unit. Besides, it’s just darn fun and totally amazing to watch your children learn, think and develop!

Sarah

~ To me, homeschooling /unschooling feels like a natural extension of parenting. We assist our children in learning to nurse, eat, walk and talk. No one argues that parents and families are naturally equipped to raise babies and toddlers. When I was expecting my first baby my sister in-law introduced me to attachment parenting. I sought out to learn everything I could about natural childbirth, nursing and attachment parenting, and read everything I could get my hands on, yet most of what I learned about raising and caring for my babies was really and truly learned after the birth of my children, through the experience of motherhood. When I needed guidance, I prayed and I turned to parents that I trusted who were more experienced than I was in that area, and I scoured the internet and bookshelves for what I needed. As my children grow older, I do the same. A fellow homeschooler once said that we should view “school” as a resource. I am thankful that we have wonderful resources, such as waldorf and montessori schools and others if I should ever need them, but I believe that our home is the most natural place for our family to thrive.

~ Time. Time together and time for themselves. It means so much to me that our family is able to live and learn and grow along side each other at a pace that allows us to stop and listen and be. They have time for themselves to pursue their own interests, to be still and to reflect. I also believe it gives us more time for extra activites without feeling so rushed and isolated from each other.

Mary

~ Preschool. Seriously. When our eldest child was three he started in a church preschool program. We chose this one program because their focus seemed to be on play and learning through play; not early academics. I was pregnant with our second child at the time and while I enjoyed the chance to take a break twice a week, I didn’t want his time away from me to be stressed and focused. I wanted him to have a chance to make friends and have fun.

Halfway through the year, however, things changed. The teacher and administrator asked to meet with me to discuss their concerns that my child was not ‘kindergarten ready.’ I was floored. He wasn’t even 3 1/2 and they were already evaluating him for kindergarten readiness. Because of his birthday and the state’s cutoff for kindergarten entry, he wouldn’t be enrolling until he was 6. Were they really serious? Yes, unfortunately they were.

That night at home my husband and I discussed the situation. He shared my disbelief that ‘it’ had already begun. The pressure to start pushing and evaluating and stressing had begun. The focus on performance had begun. It was time for our family to opt out.

When May of that year came we faded away from the ‘school crowd’ and began our homeschooling journey. July found us the proud parents of a second boy. In September I started a ‘homeschool preschool’ group in our area and we started down this long and wonderful road to meeting other homeschooling families.

~ Our time together as a family is at the top of my list for both of these. I believe the children benefit from having real relationships with one another. What matters to me most, and what benefits them the most is this family focus. The boys, for example, have a real relationship; they are best friends. They don’t just see one another for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends.

Beyond this family focus the greatest thing that home education gives us is the ability to look at life as a whole. Life is not, as I am fond of saying, a series of segmented curricular nuggets. We look at life as a whole and approach learning as interrelated and interconnected.

Erika

~ We knew the kind of education we wanted our children to have, and we couldn’t find it at any school in our area. We wanted them to learn holistically and through the arts, and we did not want to force them into a setting where their strengths and individuality would be ignored. After researching many different schools of thought and curriculums, my husband and I leaned toward unschooling and the Waldorf method–unschooling because it gave our children the opportunity to learn based on their natural desires and Waldorf because it immediately appealed to us as a type of education that cherished the child’s beauty and imagination, and we knew we did not want to stifle our children’s natural creativity by pushing them too quickly into analytical thinking.

~ That my children are pursuing their interests and desires, learning with the capacities specifically given to them, and their strengths are able to shine in whatever they do. Essentially, I want to provide an environment where learning is always for them as it is now–an innate desire to dream, discover, and design, always exciting and never a bore. There is too much awe in this world for anything to ever be a bore.

~ Togetherness. I think building successful relationships will help my children excel in whatever they choose in life. When I look back at my life, I see how my family relationships, whether they were healthy or otherwise, have strongly impacted my character traits and what I choose to do in life. I think building a strong, healthy foundation in the early years will foster confidence, compassion, dedication, and perseverance, all of which will see them through anything they might pursue now and in the future.

Andy

~ My husband and I always walked on the unconventional path. We took our time after highschool searching for self (not together, yet in a parallel sense) – and during that time we found that we truly learned by living life fully. By traveling, meeting diverse people, and keeping the heart and mind open to the unknown – we discovered many truths… The way we live, eat, and play have all come about from our past travels and experiences. When we became parents and as we are watching our children grow, we keep an on-going discussion on how to sustain an unconventional lifestyle in this tough materialistic conventional world. The irony of our decision is that we are both state certified teachers. I was a kindergarten
teacher in the inner-city school district for close to 10 years and my husband is a highschool English teacher. I don’t question whether my children are learning the “standards” – what I constantly struggle with is whether, as they mature and become more and more aware of how society lives, they will feel that they missed out on something?

~ I think the most important relationship is that between sisters and brothers. While I remember having friends in elementary school, I also remember a lot of stress and turmoil between these relations – that don’t even exist today (I have denounced facebook as a “catch-up with your past life” tool). The most important element of being home/unschooled for my children is that they grow up learning together and developing a tight bond
that exists because they are fortunate to be side-by-side on this amazing journey.

~ The biggest benefit is that my children are free to discover their own interests and to expand on those interests as much or as little as they like! We get to go out into the world and explore this tangible environment. The classroom is extremely superficial – I just cringe at the thought of my children sitting in a classroom that is decorated with paper trees, posters of animals, and so much waste! And to live their days by the bell… I think our society (the masses) has forgotten about our freedom, our choices, and overall, that our life here can be very limited – we don’t NEED to walk the same line that everyone else is on. We can create new lines – squiggles and swirls even!

Emily

~I decided to homeschool because I feel my kids would get the best education that way. Deciding to unschool was easy, as it was just continuing what I have been doing since my kids’ birth: responding to their needs, creating a bond, earning their trust.

~ Trusting that my kids are getting their needs met, that I am capable of helping them pursue their interests, and that they will gain what they need to survive when they are adults matters above everything else.

~ Freedom. Freedom for our family by not being confined to the school day and school year to vacation, run errands, or do activities. Freedom for the kids to wake up, eat, play, use the restroom, and sleep when they decide.

All photography by Ginny

Thank you everyone for sharing with us. I look forward to learning and discussing so much more. This series is about discussion, so please feel free to leave any comments and questions for the contributors.

Wishing you a very a very happy weekend. See you on Sunday