homeschooling

I have been waiting a while to write this post. It has been in my head for weeks, and on my heart for much longer. This is not an easy subject to write on, mainly because every family is different, and sometimes I fear that in writing about homeschooling my children, I am creating a good vs. bad discussion about education. I believe that every family needs to make their own decisions, and feel good and supported in those choices. This is simply our story, and our journey with our children.

Reading
I have written extensively on the subject of homeschooling. It has been a part of our lives for many years, and I am sure that it will continue to be so for many more to come. It is also a challenging subject for me, as I don’t think that my family fits into the traditional homeschooling “type”.

We began to home school our oldest son when he was in preschool. It was something that I felt passionately about, and that I convinced my husband would be best for our family. I read every book I could find, soaked up all the information over the internet, and feverishly planned for the years ahead. I used a combination of Waldorf and Montessori curriculum, and embraced a creative and natural approach to his education.

It felt really good for a while, and as Elwood joined our daily rhythms and activities, it grew into a loving and special time for all of us. We tried Jacob in a kindergarten environment for a few weeks when he was 6, but knew right away that it was not right for him. We felt secure and happy in our decision to home school, and figured that the path that we were supposed to take would be clearly laid out before us as the years went on.

Of course, life never works like that, does it? In 2011, Landon blessed our home and our lives, and I began to feel my confidence as my children’s educator slip away. It was a very sad time for me, mainly because I no longer felt that I could give them what they needed. I began to doubt who I was and what I could provide, and instead I allowed other’s opinions of what was right and wrong to come into my vision.

In the fall of 2011 I placed both of my children into school. I was happy with the decision, and figured that they would find a way to adjust. I convinced myself that the school had everything that they could want, and that they would make friends, and be happy and that everything would be wonderful. My husband was not pleased with my decision, and tried his best to convince me that I should wait a bit longer, but I plowed ahead.

My children did adjust, beautifully. They both won awards, ranked in the top of their class, flourished, and assimilated. I patted myself on the back for my brilliant decision making, and slowly adjusted to being a mother of school children.

A year later, almost to the date, a terrible kidnapping and murder of a fifth grade girl took place in our area. It was frightening, and because it was so local, it was a subject that came up with my boys. As I was driving Jacob to soccer one afternoon, I had the overwhelming feeling to just remind him how short life was, and to make sure that his choices were always based on happiness. What happened next will forever change all of our lives. He looked up at me and with a trace of anger in his voice said, “My spirit has been broken the past year”. I swear I almost had an accident. I pulled my car over and just stared at him in disbelief.

We sat and talked for about an hour, and honestly I was so emotional I had to call my husband to come and take him home. He asked me why I had made him go to school, he told me how much he had loved to learn and how much that had changed. He felt that he was constantly being talked at, and pressured, and looked through. It was not a conversation that a 9 year old should have had, but it was one that we were going to have to face.

When I got home, I sat down with the boys and Joel and tried to prepare myself for what was ahead. They both expressed the same anger, the same frustration, and the same sadness. They were simply not happy.

How had this happened? How had a mother of three children, who was once so confident and so sure in her path, lost her way so completely? It took me a few days to come to terms with all that I had failed to recognize, and all that was ahead. I knew what the next step was, but I wanted to make sure that we were all prepared for what it meant.

A few months later, the boys came home. It was a decision that some agreed with, and some did not, but Joel and I knew that the only opinions that mattered were ours, and our children.

I want to stop here and say that our original decision to home school our kids was not based on a feeling of public schools being evil, or even lacking. It was not based on a need to protect our children from the dangers or difficult situations of the world. It was based on a desire to spend our lives with our kids. To not release them into the world so young. I do not believe, in any way, that school is bad, and that homeschooling is good. Life is never that black and white. I also loved the school that they went to, and I have nothing but gratitude for the year that they so fully gave to my children.

Learning

Landon-reading

Jake-at-the-microscope

The boys are now at home, and I have a feeling that this is where they will stay for quite some time. It has not been an easy transition, as Landon is a toddler, and we are expecting another babe here soon. I am not going to paint a rainbow and sunshine picture of what life is like as a homeschooler, because it will not do me or anyone else any good. It is tough! But I love it.

I do feel much more peace since they have returned, and even though I still battle with feelings of confidence and security in this decision, I know that it is the right one.

Our days are slowly coming together, our rhythm is slowly taking shape. Who we are as homeschoolers is becoming more clear each day. We are together for right now, but are slowly opening our circle for home school co-ops and events.

We do follow a curriculum, and in the coming months I am anxious to share our journey with you. For now, I think that this will do. This is about as real as our story can get. This has not been an easy 18 months, but we have learned a ton. The road ahead will be paved with uncertainties, and I am sure many challenges, but for now, the one thing that we know for sure is that our path will be walked together.

This post is part of the series Get Real, which was created by Adrie of Fields and Fire and Tonya and of Plain and Joyful Living. It is a series that looks at the real ways in which we each deal with the lives we have created. I hope that you will visit each of the participants, and enjoy their perspectives each week. 

Tonya at Plain and Joyful Living
Adrie at Fields and Fire
Lisa at Hullabaloo Homestead
Melanie at Mama Ash Grove
Kyce at Old Recipe for a New World
Aubrey at This Blessed Life

{ 39 comments }

Get Real :: Making Dinner

March 26, 2013

I am sneaking back into blog land in a quiet way this morning. It has been so long since I was last here, and there is so much to update you all on. Today I am joining a group of women who I admire and respect for an ongoing series called Get Real. A look into how our lives really work in some of the most basic moments.

Today we are discussing the topic of making dinner. For anyone who has been with me over the years, you know that the kitchen and I have a very close relationship, as I am pretty sure that I am in it at least 50% of the day. Having 3 children (and a 4th on the way), means that there are always hungry tummies, and having the need to make almost all of our meals and snacks ensures that we have to plan well, and space out our days to allow the time needed to create the food that we crave, love and need.

Dinner is not an easy time for most of us. Kids running around, coming in from work, feeling fatigued, chaos everywhere, and so many activities can leave this meal as our least favorite, and most easily passed by. Over the past few years, as Jacob and Elwood have grown into two home schooled boys whose afternoons are filled with flute lessons, soccer practices, rock climbing and friends, and little Landon who is perhaps the most challenging and demanding of our children so far (but in an adorable kind of way) is growing into a toddler, the need to know exactly what we are doing for each meal, and to create a smooth flow to our dinner making has becoming a must.

The title of this series is Get Real, and when Tonya and Adrie created it, their vision was for us to talk about the entire aspect of the topics they put forth. I want to honor that desire by being as real here as possible when it comes to what our days look like. I love to cook, and I love to make a great meal for my family, but I have also grown into someone that embraces simplicity. As I mentioned, I am pregnant with our fourth babe, and for the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy I could not even really look at food without wanting to be ill. It is a challenge that I have faced with each pregnancy, and my family has had to make do the best that we can. We have also been battling a very tough illness with our oldest child that has ensured that eating out, or grabbing take out was simply not an option.

That is life though, isn’t it? There are moments that we can dedicate to being amazing cooks, to reading books on health and nutrition and new ways of eating, and then there are moments that we have to dig in and just do it the best that we know how. We have to hold true to what we take seriously when it comes to how our family eats, but we have to also be realistic with what our limitations are.

Dinner in this stage of my life is, as I said, simple. I plan like you can not believe. I have a feeling that my children look at me everyday like I just breeze into the kitchen and come up with what we eat just off the top of my head, but the truth is that I have every moment of our meal planning down to the minute. How else could I realistically survive? Each meal is planned from beginning to end on Fridays, and when my husband arrives from work that evening, I feed us an early dinner, kiss him goodbye and head to the store. It is always late that I arrive back home, and such an odd time to be doing my shopping, but I choose to never ever bring my kids to the grocery store if I don’t have to. It is a sanity saver, and I need it.

From Saturday to Friday every snack has been chosen, and every morning when we wake we prepare the snack for the day, and any extra food prep for lunch or dinner that will be needed. It is a great way for my boys to be involved, and as much as can be done beforehand, the better.

To be honest, I don’t have many go to meals that I cook with consistency for dinner. I love to try new things, and my family really loves for us to try new things as well. With the dawn of Pinterest, lets face facts, all of us have so much more at our fingertips than ever before in terms of recipes available. I love Pinterest, and while I know that it can be a time suck, a good 20 minutes a day can yield some great recipes to keep things fresh.

We eat a high protein diet, and we are moving to add so much more plant based love to our meals, but we do not have a set way of eating (except being gluten free for the past 6+ years). What I make for dinner is what I make for dinner. This is a rule that I have held onto since the day I had Jacob, and I have never wavered. I have one crazy picky eater, but Elwood knows how his meals work, and he makes his choices about what he eats and how he eats accordingly. We don’t push him, and we make sure that he has plenty of high calorie, high protein nibbles throughout the day to fill his calorie count up in case dinner becomes a flop.

The one thing that I am most dedicated to is making sure that my freezer is stocked with soups and other dishes that can be frozen for those emergency moments where I am too tired, or too late from an activity to get a healthy dinner on the table. Like I said, take out is just not an option for us. My oldest son has celiac and he is so sensitive that even a little bit of contamination can do harm. Therefore, our freezer has to become our take out place. When we first had Jacob, Joel bought me a cheap second fridge for the garage. I remember thinking that it was the oddest Christmas gift for people who had one babe (at the time), but today I am pretty sure that his forethought is utterly amazing. That small investment has yielded big results, and we simply could not do without it. The fridge holds nuts, seeds, almond milks, sauces,etc. that we need for daily living with a large family, and the freezer is full of simple meals that we can cook up in a pinch. At least once a week I find myself grabbing for something, and as this babe graces our world, I am sure it will be more.

As a homeschooling mom, I feel lucky that cooking is part of my kids daily activities. I take it as seriously as I take their math, science, or literature, and my hope is that as they embark on lives of their own someday, they are just as well prepared to cook for themselves and their families as they are to begin a career. Our health and well being starts while our kiddos are in our bellies, but it really takes shape as we introduce solid foods to them. Who they become, and how their health is determined is directly involved with what they ingest. I am pretty sure that if I don’t teach them young, they really will never get it. Having said that, I certainly don’t believe that you have to home school your children for them to learn to cook and eat well. There is always time for a child to be in the kitchen with their parents, and to learn how to prepare a meal not only for themselves, but for everyone they love.

I have always been a believer on starting my little ones in the kitchen young, and Landon is no exception. The above photo is actually him cutting a banana with a knife, and he is able to, with very close eyes, do just that. However, what the photo missed is that his brother is right next to him, helping to guide the knife along when needed. Young is good, cutting a finger off, not so much. Kids can do so many things in the kitchen, from such a young age. Giving them small tasks early can give great help to making each meal. Some days I am not so sure what I would do if Jacob was not there to chop veggies, or Elwood to stir a pot. It is a great time to catch-up with the boys, to joke and laugh, and to create an environment that says that meal making should be fun and loving.

Of course, there are days when I just simply want to go to bed and forget that I have 4 other people to cook for, or that dinner is even an essential need that we all have. On those days, I do not let the guilt take over, but rather I cook up some pancakes, grab a jar of hummus and crackers, or pop a bowl of popcorn and smile. Those are, as you can imagine, my kids favorite days. Something simple, and fun and totally non-mama like makes them happy, and it lets me know that they are more than fine when we need to throw in the towel and just let life pass us by for a moment.

Our meals never look perfect, nor does our table or our counters, but it works for us, and that is what it feels so good. As long as they are well fed, and I know that they get in the nutrients that they need, I know that we will be just fine. As I am getting a little older, and my kids are growing up, I realize that the only way to make this work is to embrace the simplicity, never judge myself by what others are able to do, and always go with my gut. As long as that occurs, dinner is feasible, and sometimes, even fun.

I look forward to catching up with all of you over the coming weeks, and I hope that you will join me here every Tuesday as Get Real progresses. Please join the other amazing women who are writing in this series, and thank you to Adrie and Tonya for putting this together.

Tonya at Plain and Joyful Living
Adrie at Fields and Fire
Lisa at Hullabaloo Homestead
Melanie at Mama Ash Grove
Kyce at Old Recipe for a New World
Aubrey at This Blessed Life

 

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