June 2010

Saying Goodbye

June 16, 2010


I knew that this day was coming, and I have dreaded it intensely.

I know the sacredness of true friendship, I know that having someone in your life who makes an impact so big that it never fades is a rarity, and I know that I am lucky to have women in my life who have loved me despite of myself.

Saying goodbye to someone who you have birthed your children with, helped to birth their children, worked with, cared for, bared your soul to, it is an impossibility. I want to be so sad to be losing someone I love so much, but all I can focus on is how lucky I am to have had this incredible woman in my life for the past 7 years.

Bernadette, thank you for seven years of friendship, and though we may not be down the road from each other anymore (she is moving a few states away), you are forever in my heart and always first on my Skype list. Thank you for serving women in birth with me, thank you for being there when my children were born, thank you for letting me be there when yours came into this world. Thank you for creating Rhythm of The Home with me. Thank you for listening, for caring, for calling, for laughing, for silence, and for tears.

To all of you who read Rhythm of The Home, thank you for giving Bernadette and I a space to continue the work that we love. I suppose that my wish today is that everyone is lucky enough to have a truly good friend, near or far.

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When my son Jacob was diagnosed with celiac disease three years ago, it ended a love affair that I had with baking bread that had been going on for as long as I could remember.

Navigating my way through eating, cooking and living gluten free felt like such a challenge when we first started out, that baking bread or baked goods was never something that I considered I would do again. Our early morning baking rituals were replaced with simply trying to figure out which toothpaste or lotion, juice or snack could make my little one sick.

Over time I of course returned to a place where taking on the challenge of making baked goods seemed feasible, and even enjoyable, and experimentation began in full to try and come up with creations that tasted as close to classic recipes as possible. I have so much gratitude for the many gluten free blogs and books out there that have helped navigate a way to feeling self-sufficient, and even successful in my gluten less kitchen.

After three full years, I have finally gotten to a place where I am ready to tackle baking yeasted bread again.


One of the things that I have loved, and truly cherish, about my time as a mom is experiencing both the good and the bad with my boys. When Jacob was diagnosed with celiac I tried very hard not to shelter him from the experience, but rather included him in finding a path and a way of living that best fit his needs. There have been a lot of ups and downs, but he seems to be immersed in keeping himself healthy, and vigilant about making sure that he can participate in everything that everyone else does.


We have spent the past several months testing just about every recipe that we could find, and since the desire to have fresh baked bread was something that we both shared, we did it together. Jacob has been a trooper in measuring and kneading and taste testing (this one is really not much of a chore), and he has come to have a healthy respect for chefs and bakers.


Most of the breads that we are falling in love with have come from the book, Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day. The book has a section on gluten free breads that include such goodness as Cheddar Sesame Bread, Country Boule, and Brioche. In the past few weeks we have made cinnamon buns that would seriously blow your mind, cheddar sesame and seed topped crackers that are perfect with a great slice of cheese, and french toast brioche that tastes as close to the original as I think we could get.



I know that it must seem silly to be gushing so much about something as simple as bread, but it really felt like a loss when it was no longer a part of our daily lives. I will not say that the breads taste exactly the same, but they are really good and every day someone new seems to be coming up with ways to improve the art of gluten free bread making. I love that this is a journey that Jacob and I are taking together, and I hope that it is teaching him that he does not have to settle for sitting around envying what everyone else is eating. Maybe I am crazy, but finding our way through this illness has taught us a lot and been a good life lesson, one that I keep my fingers crossed will serve him well as he gets older.

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