If you were here yesterday afternoon or evening, you know that I was trying out about thirty different new headers. I am never good with deciding what I want to put up, I only know that it was time for a change. My personal favorite was the one with the light flowers, but Bernadette and my husband convinced me to wait until Spring. I suppose that I was jumping the gun.
I have had some emails recently asking me why the blog RSS has changed. I am guessing that the reason is because I changed URL addresses from blogspot, to a custom URL. I know all of the people who were subscribing to the blog through Bloglines had an error message, and I am not too sure about Google Reader. I did go ahead and update the feed, but it will require you to resubscribe if you have had issues. I apologize for the problems, but I have the technological know how of a flea, and I didn’t even realize that there was a problem.
I was watching my kiddos this morning, who were in the mood to stay in their PJ’s and build tracks for their monster trucks that a friend gave them for their birthday. When they first woke, they headed out to get a pile of wood that we keep on hand for them to learn the basics of woodworking. They came in with huge piles, and rather than fuss about the HUGE mess that was being made, I just sat back and watched as my two boys (they are not babies anymore), built these jumps, and bridges and track all around our house. I mean the tracks went from room to room, and it was certainly the fun of building that kept them going. The trucks had a blast, as did the boys, racing from one room to the other.
When they were done, I complimented them on their innovation. Jacob told me how much he loved building, and he said “mama, we are just as good as you at creating pretty things”. My heart skipped a little beat, because my son thinks I create pretty things, which feels like a HUGE compliment, and also because he believes that we are all supposed to want to be creative. What a cool thing
One of the questions that I have been getting from friends and family lately is why I choose to spend such a large part of my day in front of a sewing machine, or with a pair of knitting needles in hand, and why I have put creativity above other aspects of education for my children’s early years.
I understand the need to ask those questions, because in a world where we can buy a mass produced shirt for $3, and where we consider a child to be intellectually stunted if they do not read by the age of 4 (seriously??), I must seem like a very silly woman.
So, why do I put handwork and creativity above everything else? Because creating art, music, and writing has been there for me in every major life event. I have been able to express every emotion, see past any bump in the road, and celebrate all of the joys that life has blessed me with through my creative process.
My first child did not come into this world in an easy way, and I was devastated at having a cesarean after working so hard for 54 hours of labor. When I became pregnant with my second son, I did an art therapy session with a group of women who had experienced a similar situation. We were given a pad of paper, some soft pastels, and a little bit of guidance. The artwork that I have from that day is by far the most powerful thing that I have ever created with my own two hands. That was how I processed my anger, disappointment and fear. Not every feeling that I had was resolved, but I learned what was holding me back by looking at what I had drawn, and it was a big step for moving forward.
That is why I value the creative process with the intensity that I do. I know my kids will not tell me everything, and that they will have to face some very tough moments in life, and I hope that the knowledge that their hands are capable of always ensuring that there is beauty in their lives will help them through those times. I found myself as a mom, as a wife, and as a human being through art and yoga, and those are the tools that I keep with me at all times.
I am not worried about my children not learning the basics of reading a book, I am worried that they will not know the basics of creating a story.
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
This was a very thought-provoking post! Beth
My daughter was born after five days of labor (and a c-section), and I had a really hard time dealing with it. I was an Art Student at the time, and I chose not to be honest with myself, and I believe my artwork suffered. And then a veil lifted, with honest work, deep soul work, I was finally able to deal with those feelings. When Truman was born (again with a c-section), premature and spent sometime in the NICU, after that pregnancy, I am no longer able to have children– I am still trying to learn to accept. Creating, is so important in cultivating who we are as human beings, and as adults we forget that.
"I am not worried about my children not learning the basics of reading a book, I am worried that they will not know the basics of creating a story. "
Now that is pretty spectacular.
Sometimes I feel a bit disconnected from Eben's learning. My working is such a necessity for us and our living, that I do get twinges of remorse at the thought that Eben is learning so much from a teacher and not from me.
I feel such strong urge to just let my boy be that a boy. I don't push him academically and I marvel at the things that he has learned just by being able to "Be". He has some wonderful teachers at school, but the isn't the PUSH to get to a certain level, they work with who each kid is and where they are in life and learning.
I appreciate this so much, being that they are doing such a huge job. And I am in awe of YOUR resolve to home school. I recognize in myself the inability to do that to the extent that I would need to. You are definitely special in my book to be able to do that.
Art is a big part of Fran and I, and I see that in Eben. He love to work with Fran in the workshop and when I give that kid a paintbrush, you would think I handed him a golden egg. He lights up. I love that it is almost ingrained in him make-up. In who he is.
What a great post…very thought-FULL.
PS, I want to see that pastel art that you created!
You are the one that knows what is best for your children and family! These young years are the best years of their childhood and you are filling them with joy peace and wonder… those are so valuable in a world in which so many kids are missing this in their lives. We are forced to 'know' so much before school-age even begins, it's hair-raising. Enjoy these early years.. there is plenty of time for them to learn everything else..
Such wonderful and wise words. I think a child or person can learn so much more from being creative – I was told by a very good friend not so long ago that when a child picks a crayon or pencil up they can express themselves so freely and easily, but as adults the majority of us loose that ability – unless we stick with it and nurture our creativity it starts to feel like a chore…..Hope that makes sense??
take care and have a lovely day,
Nina xxx
I feel the same way. Just as we rarely question a baby learning to crawl…or walk…or talk, I do not question my children learning to read, or write, or know addition, or any other worldly knowledge. With a strong home base to go from I believe my children can learn anything they put heir hearts into. An open and creative home is one of the best things we can provide.
Lisa
I am so with you on the learning thing… just being a kid is so important, and seems not to really be valued by society. We are always pushing our kids to do better, train harder, and act like an adult. I, myself, struggle with deciding whether to homeschool, or use that time when the kids are heading off to school to work or go to school myself. Haven't decided yet. But, I do let the kids practice whatever they seem to be interested in, and right now, Colton is so interested in letters and learning how they go together, so maybe he will be a reader, but not because we are pushing him, because we are listening to him.
Such a meaningful post Heather. While I do not home school, I am definitely trying to instill the love of creating in my kids. As I am still learning, I'm hoping to pass on what I do know and encourage them.
I have to say, you handled the questioning of your priorities much better than I think I would have. Sometimes it is so hard not to tell people to mind their own business. You said all the right things, however, and came at it from a place of calm and compassion instead of frustration. Kudos to you.
Wow Heather, this is a powerful post. I agree with you whole heartedly. Thank you for the reminder.
Such wise words. My eldest daughter by the time she was 18 months old could sing every verse to about 200 songs. She was constantly read to and one day at the age of 6, never having read before, she picked up the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and read every word to me over a two week period. To this day she is a voracious reader. She didn't want to do math when she was little but one day she wanted to count groups of numbers and so began her journey with numbers. Today she is taking statistics at her university and doing very well. It all comes in time or should I say in their time. I've never met anybody who had a parent who believed in education who couldn't read when they walked down the aisle. Music and the arts have played a huge role in my family. It is the center of our family. I've learned that by having the "wonder" moments of creating when they are little leads to the "wonder" moments of living a creative life when they are older. Happy Creating Day, friend.
Wow, I identify so much with what you wrote. My kids go to arts magnet and charter schools, respectively, yet I still feel the need to supplement their education with art and creativity as much as possible. It's just SO important. So many kids today don't know how to play or how to create or how to even be imaginative. Not mine, not if I can help it.
Wow, so wise and tender. I too had a "belly birth" (that's what I call my c sections) after a long labor.
I love that my Cameron has found a creative outlet. He tells wonderful stories and I only hope that Henry will too!
This is really beautiful Heather. I am sure, that with a mama like you, that those boys will not have a problem becoming amazing storytellers!
This is really beautiful. And so wise. It's hard to not do what the world considers "normal" or necessary for every kid.
Lovely! Thank you for reaffirming the decisions I've made. Thank you for reminding us that there are reasons to allow our children to use their imaginations instead of having television, video games, and too much "stuff" dictate their entertainment. A child that can find their own happiness will never be a bored adult and will more than likely know many skills to get themselves through a very productive and enriching life.
I completely agree with what you've said. There is huge pressure in our community for kids to learn to read and write very early. I even know a girl who went to summer school as a 5 year old before starting first grade so she could 'catch up.' I get depressed just thinking about it, but it reinforces the choices we've made as a famiily to preserve our kids' childhood.
Scientific studies show that children learn self-mastery (the ability to be less impulsive, assess situations and make sound judgments for themselves) when they play in the complex, lengthy, uninterrupted way that you describe. But so what? We don't need science to know that this is true, and follow our instincts about what's best.
P.S. Google reader was 100% fine with no interruptions or issues that I recall.
Your last sentence…..sums it up so beautifully. We are a family of story tellers and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm constantly amazed at how some people around me would squelch that gift. The gift came through my grandfather who had a never ending supply of 'yarns' to weave and he kept us entertained for hours…years…all my life. I miss his stories, but I am sweetly reminded of him every time my 6 y/o grandson goes off on a story of his own. Oh, he's good and the stories can flow with no prompting at all. …..I never want that to change. In fact, I strongly encourage it.
You're such an inspiration–you know that, right? I hope so!
Love that last line Heather. Really beautiful. I find it really hard, and I even get sucked in sometimes, to buy the cheap stuff. Then I stop and re-align myself again. The cheap stuff is so disposable, I would give it away in a second. But this hat that I'm knitting right now…I will save forever.
This is a beautiful and thought provoking post. It is really important to me to make sure my children have the skills that they need to be resilient – perhaps these will be the same things that have brought me through the most challenging parts of my life.
I really enjoy your blog, Heather. Thank you-
Your post speaks to my heart. I am in the middle of some soul-searching, as I am a reading specialist, training teachers on the research-based methods of teaching kids to read. And my heart breaks, because school systems are just so imbalanced. So much of what we do is rooted in the fact that most kids don't get what they need at home. So we're diving into interventions and crazy school days to get kids the language development, background knowledge and problem-solving skills that are missing. But that's not what my own personal children need, and I'm scared to death that the system will 'kill' off what they do have, trying to serve kids that don't. It's really not the school's fault – it's just a matter of a system breakdown, most certainly founded on a generational breakdown in parenting and a change in focus from what schools were originally designed to be.
So I'm deeply contemplating quitting my part-time job and staying home to homeschool my little ones. And your blog always helps me remember what is important to me when I start to freak out about the situation!
Thanks!!
I love that last line! Thank you for such an insightful post!
oh heather – that last line is everything. what a powerful, important post.
(i found myself through yoga too… and carry it with me 24/7)
Heather, as my mother says…"to each their own". You are able to do and say, and be anyway you choose to with your OWN children. Own it as you have. I hope that you know that I, and I am sure many other people, think that your boys look like very loved, well rounded, happy, creative, bright little people. Doesn't it say it all for Jacob to have said that about you and your "pretty things"? Keep up the GREAT WORK! Laura
hear hear. +Chelsea
Hi, Heather. I've been visiting your blog for a couple of weeks and have felt so nourished by your photographs and by your descriptions of your gentle, intentional way of living. I'm so sorry that people have been questioning your choices; I know the feeling (and sometimes I question my own choices, when it comes to parenting and home-educating!). My two boys could happily create art/craft, sing little songs and frolic in the sunshine all day long (which would please the Waldorfy folks among us); and yet my 4.5-year-old is also zealously teaching himself to read (which pleases the kinfolk but causes the "don't awaken too soon!" set to cluck and fret). I just try to be the container and let it all unfold in an environment of love, loveliness and acceptance. (Thank you for your blog!)
What an amazing mother you are. I love hearing this. It can get so easy feeling like you are the only mother who feels this way when are surrounded by a mainstream that devalues art. Your boys imaginations and their true purpose in life will continue to flourish with your parenting style. Thank you for continuing to be a great source of inspiration to me, Heather. Coming to your blog is my special treat each day and I always leave feeling empowered.
Such a beautiful post Heather. I struggle with my daughter's school, and their lack of creativity, and coming to your blog reminds me that of all the things that we can do at home with her to foster a creative life. As always, truly inspirational
Heather this is so good…I know how therapeutic creating is for me and I want my children to be able to find that in their lives as well. Thank you for putting it all into words. They will be grown up and gone before we know it…our window of time with them is so short. It should be filled with beauty and creating.
Beautiful post! I couldn't agree with you more. Lots of building and play writing going on around here on out sixth consecutive snow day. Have a wonderful day!
This is such a wonderful discussion on why right-brain stuff is so important (and so undervalued in education and life these days)…thank you for the beautiful reminder!
I can't tell you how truly soothing these words are for me right now. I too, had an emotional delivery with my first son, did some major healing through a Birthing From Within workshop, and have found tremendous comfort in the creative process – be it knitting, writing, drawing, practicing and teaching yoga…
I have been reading your blog for some time, and have always been too timid to say hello, but this particular post has brought me out of my shell.
thank you.
isn't it amazing how no matter what you do, what a wonderful mother you can be, someone will always feel the need to question what you do. one of my personal goals after having my second daughter, was to listen to my heart and gut more and not listen to others as much. i find that i am a much better mama for doing this. you and your partner are the best teachers for your children, you know what is best for your entire family. my daughter is almost five and we have contemplated homeschooling her, as well. what we have found in our community is a charter public school that is dedicated to all curriculum being centered around arts. we are actually waiting to find out this week if she got in (lottery system) because ite seems like the perfect match for our little family. i hope to embrace and foster her creativity rather than push it aside. thanks for a wonderful post!
i missed the header rotation, but what you chose is perfect. and i had a laugh, because i have a photo folder titles "headers" that is full of different headers i have played with. i have my favorite, but i feel the need to rotate, so i don't know that i will ever use it again (but i secretly miss it!).
what a thoughtful post about your boys, their creativity, yours, and how you use it to process. you have put into words feelings i have but have never expressed or even recognized. simply, though, i craft because it makes me feel good to use things i have worked to make. it is as though i am supporting myself outside of my role as a mother. and kids? they are naturally crafty. both my children are, but in very different ways.
nicola
http://whichname.blogspot.com
You are not silly but very wise. What lucky boys and lucky friends we are to have you to take inspiration from.
Bravo! I'm with you all the way. My older daughter is 3 1/2, and while your sentiments echo mine almost exactly, I do find myself occasionally panicking for a moment because she is not sounding out words or doing all these crazy things I read on blogs that other kids her age are doing. I always come back to reality, but I can definitely see how some people get caught up in that. I keep reminding myself that reading and math are technical skills, the basis of which she is getting in her real life on an every day basis, and which can and will be learned when the time is right. But a joy in learning, a sense of wonder (to steal from Rachel Carson), an innate creativity, confidence in oneself and one's ideas, and independence are not things that can be taught and that are essential for success in every realm, including learning to read and use language. I'd rather let my children learn these things through creative play and creative "work" for now, and when these qualities are solidly formed, we can move onto more technical matters.
Love this post! My son is only 22 months old, but I feel it's so important to be creative with him and teach him the fun of being creative, because it mean a lot to me as well. I see so many people I know that are depressed and I always think if they just had an outlet, a hobbie, something they had an interest in, but a lot of people weren't brought up in a creative family to understand the importance of creativity. It's what keeps me grounded, gives me strength, and challenges me. I'm so thankful that my mom taught me the importance of my own creative mind.
OH! Can I quote you! As an art teacher struggling with the bureaucracy of the public school system and trying to define our goals for educating our children, that last line sums it up completely and thoroughly… Thanks for your insightful post…
Thank you for putting it so eloquently. I was raised by my grandmother who is now a retired first grade teacher. She has always believed in letting kids be kids. I learned to read and write in kindergarten and first grade. And when school was out I got to play. Now my grandmother helps watch my little ones while I have to work. You are just reaffirming that this play time is not only good but necessary. I will be homeschooling if we stay living where we are. I don't want to crush my daughter's imagination or love of learning like I know the school will end up doing because they are trying to cater and care for the masses, not just individuals.
oh, just reread your post and I had the exact same (as similar as two different people can be) birthing experience with my first. Devastated. This is so inspiring to read. I had to really do a lot of work around those feelings creatively as well as spiritually and came to acceptance and am able to now embrace that experience, but was so difficult. Thanks for sharing…
Oh what a wonderful post! What a wonderful wonderful post. I smiled and teared. I have to remind myself of this when I am doing what I am doing with my kids. Thanks for the inspiration. Your words are cuddling around me tonight–
You go girl!! As a homeschooling mama, who received one too many questions about my homeschooling choices today, I applaud your response. Standing proud and tall with you!
That last line sums it all up-I feel so strongly about surrounding myself and others I love with creativity. Growing up in a creative household where there was paint, dough, fabric, and instruments and my finger tips, I can honestly say that the experience of growing up in a creative household made me who I am, taught me what I know, and encouraged me to find *myself*.
Children LEARN by watching Mama DO.
Good for you Heather….what a beautiful soul you have.
How beautiful that your grandmother is able to help you raise your own little ones. I so agree that it is really hard to sit back and watch what the schools are doing to kids today. I am curious what your grandmother thinks about the ways that the system has changed, it must be hard to watch.
I must be asked 5 times a day (if we are out), why my children are not in school, and when I give people the answer, they always have such a funny look on their face. I think that it is a hard choice to home school, but a really powerful and positive one as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
Warmly,
Heather
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Quote away! As an art teacher, I can only imagine that you see this magnified my a thousand each and every day.
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Wow, Stephanie, this is not really a point of view that I had thought of. You are so right, perhaps depression, sadness and a strong sense of disconnection would not be so prevalent if creativity was something that was valued and focused on. Great point!
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So perfectly stated, Heather! I learned when I was in undergrad (I have two degrees in art education…) about a few programs in the US where all of students' learning was based in the arts. Art, music, etc were not just subjects they went to in school, but instead were the only subjects they studied. They learned everything else, reading, math, science, etc. as it related to what they were creating. I am quite certain that you can understand how much science can be taught from spinning and dying; there is just so very much physics and chemistry there! And because it is applied; it is easily adapted to different levels of understanding and ages, and students remember much more of what they have learned. You are very wise to focus so much on creativity; problem solving is one of the most important learning tools and life skills we can teach our kids. Don't let anyone give you a bad time; you are truly teaching boys to fish.
that last sentence is so powerful. thank you for this post. wow!
Jaimie, I really do find myself panicking sometimes as well, that my kids are not learning what they \”need to\”. I think that I am slowly realizing that the education that they have does provide for learning for all of things, and that I have to trust that kids have to go through a specific process, and that is what makes them be able to see the world and all that it is about in a whole way. I think that you put it beautifully, it is supposed to be a joy of learning. Thank you for sharing
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lovely. thanks for sharing…as always from your heart.
Yes!!
Fabulous post. A few of those paragraphs sum up why I continue to teach dance!
Almost every time I read your blog I feel like I could bookmark each post as wise thoughts to read now and in the future when I need some calming inspiration. I'm sure you've heard it before, but I really would love it if you gathered your thoughts in a book. The web is great, but I love having wise woman words in a tangible form in my hands where I can dogear the pages and underline and put sticky notes and write in the margins. I'd love to hug your book to my chest when you write something that really touches me, like your post today. So, I'm just sending a book hugging thought out to you over the interwebs instead.
love,
melinda
I think so much is born from handwork and creativity, and not just the end product of the task, either. We focus on those two things at our home, too–and now more than ever. My girls attend public school and guess what? they cut the art program at the start of this year. Now they have "enrichment" (enrichment–as in not necessary but a nice extra). We have always tried to put an emphasis on creativity but now, we are much more deliberate about daily projects or explorations in art.
you are doing what feels right for you and your family. That's all you can do!
You are so wise! I taught music and movement for pre-s to 2nd graders. I can't tell you how many students broke down in tears because they thought they weren't good readers or writers! My experiences have led me to seriously considering homeschooling my two sons. In my studies of child development I learned many children's brains are not ready to read until 6 or 7 and if we try to force it then the child ends up using a different area of the brain. Ugh! I think you are giving your children such an amazing gift to experience true joy in learning and developing the creativity that our country desperately needs.
Beautiful…… I love this. When people comment about a certain young person in my house not being a solo reader yet I simply smile and say "her heart is worth far more then her reading abilities right now". I mean, for me, wether she learns to read at age 4 or 8 is of little value if she cannot be true to herself. Teaching my children to be authentic creative beings is worth far more to me…….. thanks for the lovely reminder of how very important the whole child is
that last sentence says it all.
brought tears to my eyes.
so exactly how i feel.
thank you.
Amen. Love this, and love your new boldness here.
I am not worried about my children not learning the basics of reading a book, I am worried that they will not know the basics of creating a story.
Thank you! What a brilliant sentiment! I will share this with all of my parent and grand-parent friends.
I happened upon this quote today, or rather, it happened upon me…it made me think of you and this post….
"The creative individual has the capacity to free himself from the web of social pressures in which the rest of us are caught. He is capable of questioning the assumptions that the rest of us accept." – John W. Gardner
A silly woman, you are not. Your children will learn to think themselves apart from this quick paced world, including all of its contraints and demands for conformity.
beautiful. And a reminder to me, with a daughter who is struggling with maths and reading, that perhaps it's a matter of her learning and grasping concepts when she is good and ready.
I've just discovered your blog and am now going to have a delightful time reading through your achives!
Thank you so much for writing this post. It speaks so loudly to that place of doubt in me that wonders if I am doing the right thing for my son. I love how you point out that art, creativity, music have been the rocks in your life. So true. And isn't that what we want to give our children?!