January 2010

In talking about connection last week, Julia and Laura immediately came to my mind. They are twin sisters, best of friends, and constant companions. As we have been talking about what true relationships are based on, and how connection is created, their relationship stands out.

I adore both of these ladies, and I am so honored to call them friends. Their story inspires me to always believe in connections, and to seek them out whenever possible. Although we are not all lucky enough to have a mirror image to rely on, it is good to remember just how powerful a true soul connection can be

The circle opens. Welcome Julia and Laura

Tell us a little bit about yourselves, your families, and the work that you do.

Together:
We grew up on a Mountain in the Adirondacks. We were our parent’s only children and each other’s only playmate growing up since there were no other kids where we lived. Laura still lives on the mountain, along with the rest of our local relatives on our Dad’s side of the family. Julia lives in a neighboring town where her husband grew up. We both have a great love of this area and our families. We have the same friends and try to get together with them whenever possible. We love crafting and sewing together and began vending our Adirondack Mama’s Gifts goods at the local Farmer’s Markets this past year. It was really successful and led to us starting up an Etsy shop for the off season. www.samthehamsmom.etsy.com

Now a bit about our families.

Laura:
Jay and I met online in 2001, and it was love at first sight (as cliche as that sounds.) We got engaged in late 2002. Married in 2003, We built and moved into a house down the mountain from where our parents’ live just 2 months before our son Sam Hayden was born. Sam is our little buddy, he loves to play games with Daddy and he LOVES to snuggle up with me. We are happiest when we stay home together, and have been known to spend an entire weekend at home without leaving the driveway.

Julia:
Fran is four years older than I and . We both had eyes for each other in high school, but never even spoke, too shy on both fronts. Then one day when I was 19, I saw him in a store and we started talking. We exchanged numbers and went on our first date shortly after. That was that, we have been together 11 years,and married for 6 years. We are both very independent of each other, opposites attract in many ways, but it works for us. We have a five year old little boy named Eben. He is a mix of the best qualities of both of us. He is Daddy’s helper and Mama’s little love. He is magic.

You two have very similar lives, but what is different about each of you, things that you both notice.

Together:
It’s so funny to answer this question because if you had asked us this question 12 years ago when we graduated from High School the answer would have been “Nothing, we are completely alike!” But through the years, marriage, and the boys, our similarities have altered. If you look at our web logs, the differences are really apparent. Right down to our favorite colors and taste in style and writing. We are Mirror image twins which means that our hair spirals and fingerprints go in opposite directions and we write with opposite hands. The whole right brain(left handed)/left brain(right handed) theory seems to apply to us in our differences in personality and interests.

Laura:
Julia likes to be out doing things, she loves to take a nap in the afternoon, she would be happy wearing jeans and t-shirts or sweaters with clogs every day and would much rather read or listen to music than watch TV. Julia is more lackadaisical, free spirited, and scatterbrained than I could ever be. She is more artistic than I though. She flits from one form of creativity to the next. Knitting, crochet, painting, sewing, making jewelry… you name it, I think she’s tried it!

Julia:
Although she is only older by 55 seconds, Laura is the typical older sister. She has always looked out for me and is the Mother Hen to me- the chick. She is much more practical in thinking than I. She grounds me so much. This becomes very evident in our work environment. Laura is the more serious one, very Type A. She tells it like it is and I really respect that part of her. She is a perfectionist and very organized and in control. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers and just one thing to ruffle Laura’s. She is more of a homebody than me, she wears dressier clothes, she likes TV more than I, and she doesn’t like to read very much. She is by far the funniest person that I know.

You are twins, you are both nurses in the same hospital, you own a business together, you have children very close in age, you both live closely, and you even have the same basic house. How does this work with your family life

Together:
We both have a love of nursing and we followed our hearts to live and work where we grew up. We work on the same floor of a small hospital. Up until we had our boys five years ago, we worked the same days together. The boys are three months apart. When they were born.. our lives became a complete whirlwind….With our 12 hour shifts at the hospital it was impossible to find daycare for our boys for those hours. We ended up sacrificing our time working together (which we really enjoyed) so that we could trade off watching the boys with each other by working opposite days. It was very taxing on our relationship since the only time that we spent together was trading off kids…but the boys were always with family and that was very important to us. Even now that they are in Kindergarten, the four of us basically co-parent our boys. They both have 2 moms and 2 dads for all intents and purposes. Just like raising TWINS! Luckily, we have very supportive parents.

What do you feel makes your relationship unique

Together:
We know that we are not an average set of twins, but a lot of that has to do with our upbringing. Our closeness is ingrained in us. The thing that people have the hardest time understanding is our bond. It is indescribable. We anticipate the other ones needs and can finish each other’s sentences. We talk on the phone 2-3 times a day just to see what is going on. We support each other in absolutely everything that we do. We run to each other before anyone else when things in life get tough. We can just sit in a room together without doing or saying a thing and be perfectly fine with it. The complete and utter comfortableness of it. It is so hard to explain to people; even our husband’s don’t understand it as much as we wish they would.

We do have many similar interests, We inspire each other to be better people….like a walking conscience, and we don’t hold grudges…if we argue, it‘s resolved within 15 minutes or so. We are the absolute only ones that we feel we can be 100% ourselves around. Uncensored.

Are your husbands close? On average, how much time do you spend together

Together:
Our husbands only see each other at family get-togethers. They really share no interests other than their tolerance of our relationship and the love that they have for our boys. Our husbands are complete opposites. They are both tall, and handsome without looking a thing alike!

Laura:
Jay is not originally from the Adirondacks, so he is a bit of a fish out of water to this area. But he is a good sport and recently took up skiing so that he could go with Sam and I. He is a homebody. He is very playful and sweet. He is super funny and very thoughtful. He loves sports and is a genius when it comes to anything electronic. He is always up for trying something new.

Julia:
Fran is a Adirondack redneck in the truest sense of the word. He fishes and hunts, he loves to be outdoors, and loves nature in general. He has the greenest of thumbs. Even before our house was completed, he had set out where the perennial, annual and vegetable gardens were going to go. Every inch of out little acre has been landscaped under his eye. He is the most handy person that I know. He wears Carhartts and keeps a full beard for half of the year to keep warm when he works outside.

What is important in maintaining a relationship that has such constant contact

Together:
Recognizing when the SPACE IS NEEDED!!!!! We both definitely have a wall that we hit when we just need to be alone….even from our twin. Being honest and supportive. Spurring on each other and pulling in the reigns whenever it is needed.

Have you ever spent a significant amount of time apart?

Together:
The most time that we have ever been apart is last summer when Julia went to Maine (one week) and when Laura and Jay had their honeymoon (1 ½ weeks). We really don‘t like being apart..


How do you see your relationship in 20 years? What are you doing, living, where are your kids

Together:
We both talked about this and both had the same feelings. We hope that nothing changes. We hope that we are still nursing, still married, that the boys are out on their own, hopefully around this area doing a job that they love, and that we are still living where we do, spending the days with our favorite people!!!!

What is the quality you value the most in the other

Laura:
Julia’s free spirit.

Julia:
Laura’s complete understanding and support.

Julia and Laura

What do you value in yourselves that makes your relationship with the other strong

Laura:
I try to be very trustworthy.

Julia:
I try to be a good listener.

What is your favorite thing to do together

Together:
Just being together is usually a blast. Some of our best times have been just talking. Those times when we both find the same thing so funny that we end up with tears stream down our faces. Those are the best times. We have more inside jokes than you could possibly imagine.

Thank you so much to Laura and Julia for being here today. Your story warms my heart, and I hope that my boys will be half as lucky as you two are with finding a genuine connection

Honestly, Thank you for this…you really got us thinking. It’s nice to hear what each other thinks.

Julia and Laura can be found on their own individual blogs, as well as at their store. You can visit Julia here, and Laura here.

I will be back on Sunday for a new series on serenity. Have a very happy weekend

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