Moving Through It

I am not really sure if I should be writing this post, and I already know that the words will not come out well.

I had so hoped to share with you in a few weeks that we were expecting our third child. But yesterday we found out that I had lost the baby. I know that it was early, and that I should know better to not have gotten my hopes up as high as I did. I have had two miscarriages before each of my other children, so I knew the risks, but we had convinced ourselves that this was the one.

I am having a harder time than I thought that I would moving through this, so I am going to take a few days to allow myself to just be sad, and then I will get back up and remember how blessed I already am.

As my son said "It is life mom, it happens."


Since Wednesdays are for WIP, this is mine. A boat neck baby sweater that I was making for the little one, that I will finish, and that someday a little one of mine will wear.

The Fairy of Dreams

The land of dreams is a beautiful and magical place that only children are allowed to visit. Once your eyes have closed for the night, and you drift into sleep, the dream fairy arrives to take you to the lands of magical dreams. The two of you take a long walk through the fields of the Rainbow King, where you play for long hours in the sunshine and flowers. There you meet many other children who are filled with laughter and joy, and who invite you to stay and play for as long as you can.

From there you walk through the lands of the Gnomes and Knights, where you witness some of the bravest souls you could ever meet. Their gallant spirit towards others is courageous and compassionate, and they invite you to come and help those in need for as long as you can.

From there you walk to the land of color and joy, where everything you see and touch is so vibrant and pure that you can do nothing else but stare in wonder at it's beauty. The artists greet you, and invite you to create a beautiful world with them for long as you can.

Finally, you walk to the land of family and love, and there you see all those who have loved you, and always will. You see your mother and your father and your brother, and your grammie and your papa, and you softly turn to the magical dream fairy, ready to awaken and return.

Softly your eyes open, you turn to the sun, and greet the day.

So go now my love, enjoy and play the night away in the magical land of dreams.

My oldest son has struggled for some time now with trouble sleeping and nervous tension. We think that it might have something to do with the severity of his celiac disease, and how young he was when it developed. Whatever the reason, it has been an issue that we have been slowly working through.

A few weeks back, hours after we had put him to sleep, he was still tossing and turning. I asked him if I could make him some tea, and we sat in bed for a bit and talked. I realized that it was not the dark that scared him, nor the shadows, it was the unknown of where he went once his eyes closed .

Jacob loves stories, especially of magic and fairies and elves. So once the bath has been taken, and the snack eaten, and the teeth brushed, we settle into bed and tell the story of the Magical Land of Dreams. We have been working on storytelling for a while now, and I tried to create a story that used words to encourage him to stay in his dreams (sleeping), for as long as possible. The story varies from time to time, but they seem to love the idea that their dreams are there for them to enjoy, to capture and to savor.

Nicole from Garden Mama had a beautiful post last week on the joys of creating Dream Pillows. It has been the perfect fit into our story telling time, and as the lights go off, the boys inhale the sweet scents of lavender, chamomile and pure wool. The perfect offering to the Fairy of Dreams.

Many of you have asked how I transferred my blog to a custom domain while still keeping my analytics. I followed this wonderful post, and it worked perfectly. I will now be attempting to transfer the blog to Wordpress on Friday. Fingers crossed. I will let you know how it goes.
Have a great beginning of your week

Frazzled

So, to say that right now I am feeling overwhelmed, well that would be an understatement. am loving working on the magazine, and I can not wait to show it to all of you. I am excited about my new blog, which I have been wanting to do for almost a year now, but have been too scared. I am planning to move to Wordpress, mainly because I dislike not being able to respond to each of you when you leave a comment. This blog will be down tonight, and then will be back up either tomorrow or Sunday. I will not be moving to Wordpress until sometime next week, but this weekend begins the process.


With everything going on, I need a bit of help from all of you. I want to make and freeze a few yummy meals for my family this weekend, but I am in need of some new recipes. I would love for you to leave a comment with your favorite freezable meal, and for every recipe that you leave, I will enter you to win an Off Hand Design clutch bag. I adore the stripes in this bag, and it is perfect for the knitter or sewer who wants to carry their project tools.

I know that I have seriously lacked much in terms of creativity this week, and I appreciate you hanging in there with me. I am excited to get to all our Halloween posts next week, and I hope that you all have a great weekend.

Update: Congratulations to Vanessa, who was chosen through the random number generator.

I can not say thank you enough to all of you for your amazing recipes, and kind words. I am looking forward to a week of cooking.

The Space for Art

~ Where there are children, there is art

Lately I have been thinking on how, as parents, we are so blessed to be able to see into the minds of our children through their art. When a child draws, they are letting us in. When a child paints, they are letting us in. When a child sings, they are letting us in. When a child dances, they are letting us in. When a child writes, they are letting us in. Experiencing life through art is what we are born with, it is what helps to guide us.

The above quote came to me last night as I was thinking of how much my children have influenced my creativity. The world that I see is so much more full of color and imagination than it was before they came into my life. How amazing that by allowing me into their creative world, they completely changed mine.

And here I was thinking that I was their teacher. Silly girl Heather, you should know better

Just a Bit of Fun

I apologize for not posting the patterns of the knitted pieces that the boys were wearing in yesterdays post.

The vest that Elwood is wearing is the Basic Vest for Children from Knitting Pure and Simple, and The sweater that Jacob is wearing is the Children's Neck Down Pullover from Knitting Pure and Simple. Both of the these pieces are knit in the round, and are pretty simple to construct.The hats are the Gnome Hats pattern from the magazine Living Crafts. I love these hats so much, and they only took about an hour to finish. The magazine is exceptional, by the way.

On Sunday, after a day spent in the leaves, we did a final cleaning of the garden to get ready for winter. We planted our onions and garlic, and cleaned out the last of the harvest.

We had two gorgeous Sunflowers that were finally ready to be cut, and when we looked closely, we realized that they both contained tons of sunflower seeds that had not yet dropped.

I had a great time getting all of those little seeds out (yes, that is sarcasm that you hear), but in the end it was wonderful to package up seeds to give to friends and family, as well as to roast for a wonderful snack. The last of our garden has now been eaten, and it is ready for a little rest. It always makes me a touch sad to put the garden to bed, but we are so thankful for all that it gave us this past year.

Yesterday the boys and I had a great time putting together some twig books from a tutorial that Lisa at Stitching Under Oaks created. I love Lisa's blog, and she always provides amazing inspiration in her sewing, knitting and homeschooling. This project was a real treat for us, we had a great time piecing paper, and getting some new sketch books into our art box. I also made two for myself to hang on my fridge as for grocery and to-do lists (I always love a new way to pretty up something as mundane as a shopping list). Thanks Lisa for such a great idea

Adding to the joy that the blogging world can bring, I received a very special package yesterday that truly took my by surprise. A while back, Julia had shown a great find that she had gotten from a trip to an antique store with her sister Laura. Jules had found these amazing plates that I was just drooling over, and I commented on how gorgeous they were. Well, yesterday one of them showed up in my mailbox. I was floored. Just to know that someone I have never met, but who I have gotten to be such good friends with, would think of me, and send something so special. It is overwhelming. But here is the uncanny part. That same day, I had put together a box to send to her as well. I had seen something recently that had made me think of her, and I was so excited to get it out the door. Isn't life so amazing sometimes? Circle of Stones indeed. Thank you my dear friend, this is something that I will always cherish.

On a funny note, yesterday I was doing a little facial treatment that I needed with all of this dry and cold weather. I put on a super hydrating mask, and I was sitting in my bedroom when the boys came in and almost fell over laughing at me. They touched my face, tried to figure out what I was doing, and when I said that I was "hydrating", well they had to get in on that action.


So here we are, all three of us hydrating away. It was the silliest moment that we have had in a long time, and certainly a picture that will need a good frame.

There is a beautiful swap that is being hosted by Carrie from Between the Hitching Posts. I love the idea of handmaking Stocking Stuffers to swap.

Wool and Warmth

Today we are joining three other families for a day of wool. The kids have wanted to understand where their clothes come from, how we turn wool into yarn, what the differences are between knitting and weaving.

For me, wool is the magical fiber. Silk, nor Alpaca, nor Cotton comes close. The feel, the smell, the texture, the color, the warmth. Wool is pure perfection.

So today is a day for wool

Hannah is hosting an amazing button swap that I am really excited about. Sign-ups are open, so enjoy!

A Deep Breath

Every year, at the turn of October, I get so excited for the month ahead. Every year, on this very day, I take a deep breath that the craziness is over. I love the fact that my boy's birthdays are only eight days apart, and that my husband and I share an anniversary with our oldest, but it puts a lot into a very short space.


Joel and I celebrated with friends and family on Saturday for our anniversary, but Sunday afternoon was all about getting back to our family rhythm. We spent the afternoon in the yard raking leaves (OK, not really raking them, but more piling them up to jump into), as well as enjoying our annual apple cake.

We have a ton of leaves come down in our yard every year, and with each passing Autumn, the boys are able to pitch in more help to get them up. They love to spend all kinds of time getting them into these huge piles, only to jump around and scatter them everywhere.



Their dad, who comes from a family of three boys (and one girl), has been waiting for the kiddos to be old enough to pass on some of his favorite leaf past times. This year they were thrilled to no end to be thrown, with some force, straight into the leaves, and they spent hours begging for "just one more turn".
(don't you just love how blurry those pictures are? Yeah, I think that I am going to need to take a class on how to capture someone in mid-air, because those are the best that I got)


Apples are overflowing in our area, and we have been trying to take full advantage. One of the boys favorite books is the Apple Cake, and as a tradition, we have made one every year to mark our most favorite month. This year we found a recipe in Sunset Magazine for a simple Oven Apple Cake that looked easy and yummy. The recipe was easy to adapt to be gluten free (substitute 1/2 cup of any all purpose gluten free flour), and I also added in a touch of apple butter and nutmeg to spice it up a bit.


You know when you stumble on something that is so good, that it immediately takes a front row spot in your recipe box? Well, that is what we felt with this cake. It tastes like Autumn, and it is so light that you absolutely have to go back for seconds. Just how good is it? Well, the above picture of Elwood should tell you something (yes, he is actually licking his plate there).

Since you can't eat Apple Cake without apple juice, we decided to go all out and make apple cups to drink from. I had been reading Lizz's blog on Friday morning, when I found this great post on serving hot apple cider. I loved the idea, and it actually works great as a children's size cup. The boys just thought that it was great, and they proceeded to down theirs, and then drink both of ours. This is a very cute way to celebrate all things apples, or to simply surprise the kiddos with a fun treat.

Exhaustion seemed to creep up on me towards the end of the day yesterday, and I happened to come across my littlest bean lying in the leaves, nearly asleep. I managed to get this shot before he saw me, and I thought that it was the perfect representation of how we were all feeling: Happy, tired, and fulfilled.

Again, thank you all for your birthday wishes for my boys. I am going to print everything up, and give it to them down the road. The comments made their day, and mine as well.

For the Apple Oven Cake, I substituted my favorite GF all-purpose flour blend for the regular flour. I also added in 1/4 cup of homemade apple butter, and 1/8 teaspoon on nutmeg to the recipe. I added the nutmeg in with the cinnamon while cooking, and added the apple butter into the batter.

And Then He Was Six

I remember the moment I found out that you were coming. I remember the excitement, because they had told me that I would never be blessed with children.

I remember every moment of those months, the anticipation, the fear, the feeling of inadequacy. I remember the plans, the hopes, the dreams. I remember placing headphones on my belly and letting you listen to music. I remember the determination to bring you into this world the best way that I could, and I remember knowing that I would love you more than anything in this world.


And then you arrived, and I realized that I had never truly known what love was until I met you.


We were instantly bonded, and forever bound. I had known you all of my life, I had waited for you, and prayed for you, and now you were here.


We spent every moment together, and you grew, and I grew.


You faced every challenge, and overcame all the odds.


You fell in love with your world, and we fell more in love with you.


You laughed and smiled through your days, and made mine so much brighter.


You continued to light up my world, as you always will


You found your independence


You raced with excitement into your own self


You are six my sweet boy, and I am so proud of all that you have become, and all that you will be.

Happy Birthday J-Man

Thank you for your indulgence of this past week. Preparing for two birthdays and an anniversary has been wonderful, and I am now excited to fall back into our daily rhythm.

Have a wonderful weekend

A Birthday Garden

For the boy's birthday party, I sewed each child a treasure bag, and filled it with a fairy stone and a fall bulb to plant. Every year we create a Birthday Garden for the boys, and this year we used all the left over bulbs from the party.

Jacob took the reins and did almost the entire garden on his own this year. It is a simple, and small border that we plant that holds about ten bulbs, but is just enough color to remind the boys that they are at their half year mark when they bloom (those half birthdays are very important at this age). The weather had turned gorgeous by mid-day yesterday, and it was so wonderful to be outside.

It was even more amazing to watch my oldest son, just a few short hours from turning six, out there and independent, creating a garden and loving getting his hands dirty (or at least his gloves dirty. He is my neat and tidy child).

Where was Elwood, you ask? Elwood was in seventh heaven, because with every hole that Jake dug, Elwood found at least three worms. No joke, he had the largest worm pile I had ever seen by the time we were done. The kid loves bugs, worms, spiders, you name it. He holds them all as dear, sweet friends, and it always breaks his heart when he has to say goodbye (you remember Mr. Caterpillar).

Their birthday garden is now planted, and we have something very special to look forward to this Spring. With all that hard work, we decided that we deserved a bit of a treat to enjoy.

Stacy and I recently had lunch at this great restaurant in Boulder called BimBamBoo, and she ordered me an amazing Thai Lemonade. I have always loved iced tea and lemonade together, but this was so different, and so much more interesting. A combo of mint tea, crushed mint, and fresh lemonade was a simple, but perfect combination, especially with the light Asian fare we were enjoying.


When I came home, I had to recreate it, so I stopped at the market and grabbed some mint and lemonade. I brewed up some fresh mint "tea", and then once it was cooled, added in the lemonade and freshly chopped mint. All that I can say is that even though it is Autumn, and this may seem like a Summer drink, it is simply perfect any time of year.

A fun afternoon in the garden, followed by a refreshing drink and lots of worms. Could it really get better than that?

Garden Mama has a special giveaway and a wonderful interview of Suzanne from Down in the Meadow. The giveaway ends today, so go and check it out .

Being Brothers

It felt so strange yesterday to not come to the computer for a post. Bernadette and I are about as deep into the first publication of the magazine as we can be, and I suspect that the next two weeks are going to be a bit overwhelming (but very fulfilling as well).

The weather has been trying my every last nerve, as the sun has failed to shine in over five days, and the cold is wearing thin on my ability to feel the joys of Autumn.


I so loved the Simple Scarf that I made last week, that I decided to expand Larissa's pattern and make a wrap for the biting chill that seems to greet me every time I leave the house.

I used a brown velvet that called to me the moment that I saw it. It is thick, lovely and perfect for the changing weather. Brown and pink are two of my favorite color combinations, so the pink silk was a no brainer with this one.

Even though it has a bit of a formal feeling, I have worn it twice now with jeans and a wool turtle neck, and I love the combo. As soft as this is, I am tempted to just crawl up into my reading chair with it for the the afternoon.


With life getting a bit hectic, these past few days, it never fails that general discord will erupt in my home. My boys have very little tolerance for their mother not being fully engaged with them, and I certainly can't blame them for that. However, sometimes I wonder if the two of them might not hang from the chandeliers if I wasn't paying attention.


Jacob and Elwood have a life that centers around each other, and their family. They really do most everything together, and while they are not forced to be friends, their lives have taken them in a direction that allows them to be if they so choose, and they certainly do. Being that close, having lives that are so connected, well it can make for some wonderful moments, and some insane moments. Over the past few days, I have broken up some whopper fights, that when explained, are nothing more than each other driving the other crazy. In these days, I wonder if they will always be close, if they will always love each other and be supportive. A bit of fear begins to creep up, and I find myself saying a silent word that they know how lucky they are to have each other.


And then, inevitably, I catch a moment like this one: Together, asleep, and so very close. Being brothers must rock.

The capes that the boys are wearing were hand dyed and sewn by their Aunt Bernadette for their birthday, and have been on their backs pretty solidly for the past few days.

A Whirlwind

It has been a whirlwind of a week, and we have another one coming up. Saying thank you for the amazing birthday wishes for Elwood would never be enough, but I can not begin to explain how touched we are. We read each and every comment to him, and he has felt so special from each of them.




We were lucky enough to have had a wonderful birthday party for both of our sons on Saturday. The weather was bitter cold (it was 16 degrees when we woke). Snow covered the earth, and we all felt the desire to just stay in bed and snuggle. We decided this year to have a small party of ten of the boys closest friends (their circle of stones), and their families. We celebrated at the Pottery Studio in Fort Collins, and it was a dream of a party. Two hours of pottery making with our little ones, cupcakes, and a bit of spoiling on the presents. We went home happy, and very fulfilled. This was our first party that was not held in our home, and it just worked out perfectly.

We were exhausted, and I had to get back to my sewing and knitting to get ready for Jacob's 6th birthday on Friday, as well as my wedding anniversary on the same day.


I did manage to finish the first pair of Halloween socks for the boys yesterday, and I am so very happy with how they turned out.


Halloween knitting and sewing is also in full swing, and I can not wait to decorate the house next weekend, once all of the birthday celebrations are complete.


We did get a ton of snow over the weekend (at least for this time of year), and my kids were in seventh heaven because that meant that we could have the first Snow Shakes of the year. My mom made these for me when I was growing up, and I love sharing it with my little ones. It is simple, but fun, and everyone has a smile on their face

Snow Shakes

1 glass full of snow, packed heavily (use clean snow :))
Hershey's Syrup
Milk

Pack snow into a glass leaving about 1 1/4 inch on top
Add as much Hershey's syrup and milk as you could like
Stir and Enjoy!!!!

Thank you so much to my incredible friend Stacy who so generously spent the birthday party photographing my children so that we could remember this beautiful day. The pictures of the party both here, and on my Flickr page, are all hers, and we are blessed to have she and her family in our lives.

And Then He Was Four

Yesterday we awoke to a very magical sight: Our youngest as a four year old, and snow on the ground.

I am four!

Elwood woke me by saying "Mama, Mama, you have to wake up, today is my birthday and this is a very important day!!!". To understand the full impact of that sentence, you have to realize that Elwood is my sleeper. He loves to sleep as long as possible, and he will normally grumble at the idea of getting out of bed. So waking me up was a first. He was right though, this was one important day.


I am one of those people who needs traditions. I don't know, maybe that sounds strange, but I do. I really love setting the table with their crown and birthday ring, I love reading a birthday book to them when they first awake, and just before they fall asleep. I love having my mom and dad come over for breakfast and share in a quiet morning. I love to tell them the story of The Rainbow Bridge, and then take them to a special place for a birthday blessing.


Yesterday we rang in four just the way that we had brought in his other three. The snow falling outside made for a wonderful cozy morning, and his pajamas were a huge hit. Late Wednesday afternoon, Jacob had decided that he wanted to make Elwood a birthday celebration shirt for him to wear with the pj's that I was making for him. I hesitated at first because I was planning to make a full set of pajamas, but then I realized that even the hesitation was silly, of course he should make it. So Jacob and I cut the freezer paper stencils out, and he painted balloons on Elwood's shirt while I finished up the pajama pants. It was the perfect match (Do you not love the hands on the hips in the picture? Of yeah, he is four now!).


Of course, there always has to be a funny story to go along with making birthday gifts, and this year was no exception. I had made pajama pants on Wednesday morning. I figured that pajamas were so easy to make, and this would be the project that I could finish last. I still had to seam up his sweater, and I wanted to get that done first. So I did not even bother to try on Elwood's pants until he was asleep on Wednesday night (I always try things that are a surprise on them in their sleep, they never remember). So I slipped them over his legs, and there they got stuck. By stuck, I mean I had made the waste so small, they couldn't even begin the ascent over his tush.


So, at 10:30 at night, I headed in to make another pair. I have no idea how I was so off in my measurements, but I was. I don't use a pattern to make pajama pants for the kids, so I guess that I just had a serious miscalculation on the waist. I was not able to make them as fancy as the first pair, but I was still really pleased.


He loved them though, he did not take them off all day (which was actually pretty cute, since we were out in public in the afternoon). We were thrilled that he was so happy.


Jacob had decorated the breakfast table perfectly (he has a party planning future, let me tell you), and we sat down to a wonderful meal.


Jake takes so much pride in creating beauty for his brother, and since my oldest sibling from me is eleven years my senior, it amazes me to watch their closeness. That may have been the best part of the day for me.

I will not let this beat me. I can do it, I can finish it

When the afternoon was winding down, Elwood declared that it was time to have cake, which he thought would be in the shape of a giant hot air balloon. Although I was afraid to disappoint, this year I wanted them to have something a little different. So out came caramel covered apples. It was the first time that they had ever tasted them, and their eyes got HUGE with excitement as they made their way to the table. Caramel and children's teeth is never a happy marriage, but I still wanted them to experience such a wonderful Autumn treat.

We ended the evening by making birthday kites and flying them through the cold, wet streets of our neighborhood. It was the perfect way to say goodnight on Elwood's first day of being four.

This picture is blurry, but I could not resist the look on his face.

Thank you all for indulging me this week in our birthday preparations, and for all of your birthday well wishes for Elwood.
I hope that you have a wonderful start to your weekend.